Apologies to my readers for being away for so long. Things have been beyond hectic. My grandfather has been in the hospital for the past 2 weeks, with double pneumonia and congestive heart failure. I never got a warning from my guardian angel (she usually warns me when something will happen). So as he lay in in an induced coma, weak and vulnerable, I prayed to God.
"Why God do you keep him alive through everything after the abuse he put me through?"
I felt a warm presence and knew what God wanted me to do.
"God, please show me a sign I can forgive this man. If Saint Maria Goretti could forgive her attacker, then I can forgive my grandfather. Show me a sign that I can forgive him."
All of a sudden, my grandfather squeezed my hand. It truly was a sign from God.
"I forgive you." I prayed as I held his hand. I felt my guardian angel's hand on my shoulder. I felt at peace.
I went down to the gift shop, to buy something to remind me of my forgiveness. I found the perfect thing, something I could wear on a daily basis. It was a vibrant ring, and as soon as I put it on I said to myself, "With this ring, I forgive." I haven't taken it off since.
My 2 aunts, uncle and cousin came down and they all refused to get along. Everyone wouldn't put things behind them and act civil. It made me sick that they didn't have the respect for my grandparents. I, for once, was acting the most mature out of everyone.
On a more positive note, I'm going to my very first PFLAG meeting with a good friend of mine and her son tomorrow night. I wanted to look nice so I got my hair cut. It was past my shoulders. I got it all cut off and it's sleek and pixie-like. I LOVE it. My dad is pissed off at me because of it. He's not being supportive with me coming out. I came out to the rest of my family while they were here, and no one over-reacted. I guess he can't handle it cause I'm his only child, and he won't ever see me marry off to some man. I tried to talk to him about it. I finally flatout said "I don't enjoy sex with men!" and he shut up. I just can't keep pretending to be straight when I'm not. Sorry, but sometimes life just sucks.
Tomorrow I will try to update about the meeting. Fingers crossed I meet some cute lezzies.
