My Dream

My depression is getting worse by the day, as I said in my last post.  I'm not going to complain in this entry as it's pointless.  It doesn't change anything.  But I do have a legitament reason this time.  I've decided I want to become a veterinary assistant.  My vet has inspired me, and continues to do so with each visit and phone conversation.  I will never be able to afford to become an actual vet, so I'm opting to become an assistant.  I've wanted to become a skunk vet at a very young age.  May sound silly, but I've always had a deep love for animals.  I want to help bring ill animals back to health.  And console a client when the only option is euthinasia.  I feel this way every day, and the more inspired I feel, the more it aches that I can't fullfill my dream.  It mainly has to do with my loan going to the collections agency.  I doubt I'll ever get another loan.  At least not until it is paid off.  But if I ever get my book published, hopefully I can put the profits towards my bill and get it paid off sooner.  $30K is a lot to pay off, so even a couple thousands of dollars (I'm hoping to get that much if I'm lucky) will definately help.  In the meantime, I am brainstorming other children's book ideas.  If I publish more than one, I should be able to pay off my bill sooner.  Then maybe in a few years time, it will be paid off, and I'll be more mentally sound enough to register for classes.  I'm wondering if it's possible to get a scholarship, or if that's only for high schoolers.  I'm not sure.  I need to look into things, when everything is done and ready.  All I want for Christmas is watercolor paper so I can start illustrating.  Plus these books sure will be theraputic.  I need all the help I can get.